Free member essay · 3 min read
The First Job Is Safety, Not Closeness
Closeness cannot be demanded into being. In a blended family, safety comes first and closeness grows from there.
Read the featured essayA place to begin
You can start with one ordinary evening.
I'm Ian, a father and stepfather in a combined family of six children. I write about the things that make a home: the difficult conversations, the daily work, and the good moments we almost miss.
If something feels tangled tonight, choose a starting point below. There is room here for your family as it is.
What do you need tonight?
Choose the pressure closest to the room you are in.
Start with this
A recent piece worth keeping nearby.
Why this exists
A family, a changing faith, and a lot still to learn.
This writing comes from divorce, remarriage, Alana, six children, and the everyday work of making a home together. Faith remains part of my life, though some of the questions have changed.
I try to bring those questions back to ordinary things: how I listen, how I apologize, how I make room for someone else's experience. You don't need to share my beliefs to feel at home here.